


Who’re You Calling a Freak?

by OrangeOctopi7



Series: OrangeOctopi's Forduary 2019 works [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Ficlet, Forduary 2019, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, Mystery Trio, Pre-Portal Incident (Gravity Falls), Spider-stan AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 08:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17784278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangeOctopi7/pseuds/OrangeOctopi7
Summary: Forduary 2019Stanford and Fiddleford have traveled to Portland to search for the elusive Spider Man, but they may have bit off more than they can chew. Ford wasn't expecting to have to stand up for what he believes tonight.





	Who’re You Calling a Freak?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to OBVIOUS JOKE: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17607854  
> Sorry it's so short, it's barely two pages, but I felt like this was the natural place to cut it.  
> This doesn't really fit with any of the themes for Forduary, but it's mainly about Ford, so why not use it?

“Now, if’n I were a Spider Man in Portland, where’d I be?” Fiddleford mused to himself, fidgeting with the strap of his Polaroid camera as they got on a bus to explore Portland. 

 

“It’s typically been spotted in dark back-alleys.” Stanford recalled from the several articles he’d read. “Since it’s a seldom-seen cryptid, obviously we need to look in places that are seldom seen. Parts of the city that most people ignore.”

 

“The sewers?” McGucket suggested.

 

“... _ What!? _ ”

 

“Well, most folks ignore the sewers!”

 

“I have never come across  _ any  _ evidence suggesting the Spider Man might be found in the sewers.”

 

“I’m just throwin’ out ideas!” 

 

“Let’s consider what we know. It’s seldom seen, but when it is, it’s usually in a secluded back alley. Whatever it is, it seems to have an interest in helping people in trouble. It usually takes valuables.” Ford paced back and forth a few minutes, thinking hard. “The sketchier parts of the city seem like out best bet! Think about it! Fewer eyes around to see it, valuables that can be taken without drawing attention to itself, and a higher probability of people in danger for it to save!”

 

“It makes perfect sense!” McGucket agreed. He turned to the lady sitting across from them on the bus. “‘Scuse me, ma’am, d’you know where we can find the sketchy part of town?”

 

She just shot him a creeped-out glare and moved to the other end of the bus.

 

“This may be more difficult than expected.” Ford said flatly.

  
  


* * *

Eventually the two researchers found the perfect place. It was down by the docs, full of poorly-lit alley-ways and tall warehouses the Spider Man could crawl all over. Best of all, there were no people to be seen! 

 

“Maybe this weren’t such a great idea…” Fiddleford murmured. “Checkin’ the sketchiest place we could find seemed like a logical choice at the time, but I’m plum spooked!”

 

“Fiddleford, just imagine what would happen if we got that photo!” Ford encouraged his friend. “We’d be greats in the cryptozoological community! We might even be interviewed on television! Your mother-in-law might stop complaining about Emma-May marrying you instead of that doctor guy!”

 

McGucket’s resolve was strengthened by his friend. They both got our their cameras and started looking around for any evidence of cryptid activity. 

 

They’d been looking for several minutes when they heard something next to one of the larger warehouses. It came from the direction of a particularly dark alley they couldn’t see the end of.

 

“This is it!” Ford whispered excitedly, “Cameras ready!”

 

The two researchers rushed down the alleyway, snapping pictures as they went.

 

What they found was far scarier than any cryptid. It was a man, pointing a gun at them.

 

“You idiots must be new. Whoever hired you obviously didn’t let on exactly what you were getting into, did he?” The man said coldly, pointing the gun steadily at Ford’s heart.

 

“L-listen, we don’t want any trouble!” Ford stammered, “We’re just--”

 

“Oh lemme, guess, you’re lost?” A woman with a gun stepped around the corner behind them. “Then what’re the cameras for?”

 

“F-fellahs, please, let’s not do nothin’ rash. Th-this is jus’ a misunderstandin’!” McGucket pleaded.

 

The man responded by roughly yanking the camera away from Fiddleford and throwing it to the ground. “Who sent you?” The man asked. “The cops? Some stupid paper tryin’a print an  _ exciting expose _ ?”

 

“That cost me almost a hundred bucks…” Ford whined under his breath.

 

“Clearly they’re not with Rico’s guys, he’d never hire such morons.” The woman chuckled darkly.

 

“We’re not  _ with _ anyone!” Ford insisted. “We’re paranormal researchers, looking for the Spider Man! He’s been sighted around here!”

 

The man spat. “That  _ freak _ ? You two some of his fanboys?”

 

McGucket flinched. Not because of their assailant’s obvious disdain for their quest, but because he knew Ford was about to launch into a tirade that would  _ not  _ help their situation at all. 

 

“Who are you calling a freak!?” Stanford bristled. “Do you have a problem with the Spider Man just because he has powers that make him different from any human being? Powers that make him more powerful than you’ll ever be?”

 

“It’s more that I got a beef with him cuz he got me thrown in jail for two years, but you gotta admit, the crawling up walls and sticking to stuff is pretty creepy.”

 

“Creepy!? Oh,  _ he’s  _ creepy? You hold people at gunpoint in dark alleys, but the guy who’s saved multiple people is  _ creepy _ !”

 

“Stanford, now’s not the time…” McGucket whispered.

 

“You people make me sick!”Ford continued, undeterred, “If being ‘normal’ means hurting and using people weaker than you, if it means hating anyone and anything different, then I’m  _ proud  _ to be a freak!”

 

“Cool it,  _ freak _ !” The woman cocked her gun as a warning. She never did get to fire it, though. A shape scurried down the wall in the shadows. None of them saw it until a gloved hand reached out and yanked the firearm out of her grasp. 

 

The shape stepped out of the shadows, revealing a man dressed head to toe in blue and red. Blue gloves and pants, Dirty red parka and tennis shoes, and a cheap blue and red luchador mask that covered his whole face. Even the eyes were covered with a black mesh cloth.

 

“Wow, look at you, standin’ up for yourself!” The Spider Man complimented Ford. “But if you don’t mind, I’ll take it from here.”


End file.
